What's that? The world is still spinning? Some measure of cheer can still be found amongst humans?
You forget these things while living under a rock. Not that I've been living under any actual rocks. In point of fact, I've spent much of the last several months in a state of depression. While many aspects of my life have gone on much as they have, one thing that I neglected pretty seriously was this blog, as you can plainly see.
Let's start with the cold facts for any future biographers: I live in Oregon once again, having long since realized that it is where I feel most comfortable. I am single, looking for love again but trying to reconcile myself to the fact that the search may be long. I'm working on getting my teaching certification renewed, and hunting for work so that I can finally establish my independence. I saw a therapist for a few months while I was still living in San Diego, and now I'm looking into seeing another. I'm hoping that I can really improve on the mental health front, because I finally realized this year that I have been living under completely unnecessary conditions for most of my life.
Back to this blog here... I want to write more. I haven't completed a story in a very long time, and producing stories is something that, however crude the result or minimal the response, I've always taken a certain amount of pride and satisfaction in. Lately, the only things I've been able to write are poems. Goodness knows I love writing poetry, but I want to write more. More, more, more.
And yet, I am unsure about continuing on this particular blog platform. My experience on Wordpress for the Korea blog my ex and I had was positive. Despite my persistent lack of any real following online, I feel like I might get more follower-interaction there, which might more easily sustain my activity. I don't know, the grass just looks greener over there, I guess. Maybe all I want is a clean break with something, and a new blog is as good as anything else.
So I'll keep thinking on that. In the meantime, I'm going to try really hard to write and make things appear on this blog, and if nothing else bring it into position for some kind of dignified send-off. And I'll try to keep myself happy and sane, so that I can move on from what has been a rather difficult time in my life. I don't know how many of you are out there, but I appreciate your support.
A final thought occurs. This is the 200th published post on this blog. A fitting milestone for ruminations of doom! I can't think of any particular way to celebrate, except perhaps by celebrating life. So here's a feel-good summertime song about that:
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